I am losing all confidence in myself.  Today’s race and well the past few ones have given me much reason to.  I am slowing down a lot, too much.  I have no more stamina, I can’t run, I can’t go.  I tell myself to go, I have a positive attitude, but my body doesn’t go, it can’t go.  I am overestimating myself, I can’t do what I want to.  I’ve been trying so much harder, I feel like I have been running harder and faster, but no.  I am running shit and I am really slow.  Whatever.

When they say being busy sucks, it really does suck.
Not only has cross country taken over my life, school has also, and band, and believe it or not, art.

Cross country, holy crap! Everyone is kicking it up majorly, I’m not ready for it. I am hoping that by the end of the season, I break 22 minutes and stay on varsity. I know that if I set my mind to it, it will happen. It must, it will. :]
There’s only like three weeks and 5 meets left, this is epic. :O

School, lame. But great. This year is so much different, kind of. I came to the realization that I really do hate everybody, except a select few of course. I found some cool people who also hate people. For example, Tiffany is a badass girl, haha. We sit at lunch together and bully Charles. Today, he got ‘tamped.’
I’ve made many new friends, some of which are kind of weird, but you know, it happens. I think I like this year more, even though I’m almost always miserable, it’s all good. I usually have cosmic brownies. Speaking of which, on Friday, these freshmen came up to me all excited saying things like, “You’re the girl that’s always eating thr cosmic brownies!” Or “We always watch you eat your brownies, and we want them!” Things like that, it’s weird.

I have become more interested in art. I think I want to get into photography, or something relevant to it, you know, as a side thing. Or just a hobby. But! I’ve realized that I love painting. For color 2, we have to design a ‘50’s rock and roll related piece of art. I’m excited, I’m working on mine and it’s pretty epic, I hope it’s good enough to go on display at the art exhibit, which is the reason why we are doing this project.

Band, today we were going to go to Wyandotte for a band competition. It’s been rainy and cold and cloudy, so we weren’t sure if we were going. You know what? The competition is still going on, but we didn’t go because we don’t want to risk the rain. Hmph. This marching season isn’t really as much fun as last year. I’m actually really sad, haha. Next year will suck because a lot of the people I love talking to will be gone. D:

We finally got our laptop fixed ;D woo hoo!
I need a haircut badly.
I’ve been realllly tired and lazy lately.

Oh! Sunday, October 4th, was Nick and I’s 7 months celebration of being happy together. :]
Honestly, he is the best boyfriend ever. I love that boy, soo much. And what’s great is that I know that he loves me, even when I’m in a shitty mood. Sunday, we made a ‘big brownie,’ like the one at Mongolian Barbecue, only ours was better. He’s a great boy. He even gives me flannels and sweatshirts to wear, sigh. :D

Ooh! Homecoming was a weekend or two ago, it was a great time :]
My group, Nick, Evan, Caitlyn, and Kevin, went to Mongolian Barbecue, and it was yummy. That was my first time there. The dance was great, even though it was really hot and disgusting in there. Nick looked nice in his suit. He was so HOT, literally :]

Since I have nothing to do tonight, I decided I was going to update everything, literally EVERYTHING.

Here I go!